Review: Mega Monster

The Mega Monster Energy drink is one of those things that claims you can never get too much of a good thing. It says it right on the can. So you assume it's OK to down as many of these suckers as humanly possible, right? Wrong. Right after the can says you can't have too much Monster it almost immediately contradicts itself with a little warning label that suggests a limit of two cans per day. Now, most people read from top to bottom and left to right, yes? So you read the statement telling you to drink as much as you can but chances are you won't read far enough to find out that this aluminum can is a liar that is trying to kill you. Brilliant marketing!

In all seriousness, though, don't drink too much of this stuff. Two cans is about a 4th of what I intake, so that limit is probably a little haphazard, but it's just to keep you from overdosing on caffeine... which sucks. Trust me.

Overview:
The Mega Monster Energy drink was, at the time of it's release, a major breakthrough in the energy drink market. Why is this? Let's find out.

The supplement is about 3 servings packed into a single can. That's 24 0z, people, and last time I checked that was a little much for one person to drink in a single setting without having to stop drinking to drain their main vein every 6.34 minutes. That's why Monster began looking for a new feature to implement with this beast of a supplement. That feature is the groundbreaking innovation known as CAP CAN technology. This feature allows you to place a cap on your drink every 6.34 minutes so you can go drain your vein (God I hate saying that) without your beverage going flat! Or you could keep your drink safe from spills while traveling or just save some for a later time. BRILLIANT!

Review:
As I'm sure you already know, I love this product. I drink at least 2 a day, usually more, and still can't get enough of it. In fact, I drink so much that I honest to goodness pee blood on the occasion. I can't be sure if the blood draining from my vein (dammit. Sorry) is directly related to my caffeine abuse, but it makes me sound cool to say that's what it's from.

Anyway, the Mega Monster is basically just a larger can of Monster Energy with the resealable cap on the top. It clocks in at "about 3 servings" for "just a little more coin." There's also a little bit of value to be had here. A standard 2-serving can of the green drug will run you, at standard rates, $1.99. The Mega costs $2.49 for "about" 3 servings. For those of you who can't do 5th grade math, that comes out to approximately $.50 for an extra serving when you go with the Mega as opposed to the standard's (approx.) $1.00 on the serving. You just saved fifty cents. Now, fifty cents may not sound like much, but if you buy 5 Megas you've saved enough to buy another one. Just keep that in mind next time you feel like being cheap.

Final Words:
So basically all the Mega Monster is is a larger serving of the standard liquid gold that is Monster Energy. The wonderfully smooth taste, the heavenly aroma, the deliciously soft texture washing between your teeth and onto your tongue like the most graceful of ocean waves right before being taken into your body in one lovely swallow. YEAH! The kick is bigger due to more volume and you have some you can save for later as well as saving $.5o on the serving. This is a solid product that deserves your cash in exchange for some amazing energy as well as an all-around enjoyable beverage.

Score:
9.0/10
Taste: 9.0/10 (Monster is easily the best tasting supplement on the market, IMO)
Aroma: 9.0/10 (I love to take a big whiff right before the first big gulp. So delicious)
Value: 8.0/10 (While you are saving 50 cents, 2.49 is a little steep for the standard consumer)
CAP CAN: pretty damn neat/10 (Keeps my drink fresh all day at work)

Props to Brandon for helping me realize I'm also incapable of fifth grade math!

Review: Volcano Taco

There are a couple of questions I always ask myself before I go to Taco Bell. The first of the two being this: Why pay more? I mean, seriously. Taco Bell is so delicious and you can walk out of their with a 2.5 lb bag of pseudomexican food for like 3 bucks. The second thing I ask is: Is diarrhea really worth saving some coin? The answer to that has always been yes. But will the runs really be worth eating Taco Bell's new Volcano Taco?

Overview:
The Volcano Taco, for starters, is a total bargain. It comes with the same seasoned beef, veggies and cheese as your standard crunchy taco, but throws it all in a red shell with a healthy (not so much) helping of Volcano Sauce. All for only $.89, making this a welcome addition to the 89 cents Why Pay More? value menu.

Review:
You see the taco staring down at you from the menu sign, menacingly, or so it seems. Almost challenging you to see if you can take the heat. It looks real nice by that price tag, too. You throw one onto the end of your order just to try it. The item comes wrapped in your standard taco wrapper, nothing special whatsoever. As soon as you unwrap it and see that hot red shell you think you may be getting ready to bite off more than you can chew. The first bite. Not bad! Second bite! It's actually really good! You finish the taco and don't feel overwhelmed at all! It's not too spicy, it's just delicious. That's what happened to me, so don't think this thing might be too hot to handle, because it really found the perfect ground between spicy and overpowering. It's perfect, or very close to it.

Anyway, I tend to ramble.

The shell doesn't contain any heat, whatsoever. It's merely an illusion brought about by the red color. All the heat is in the sauce. Volcano sauce seems to be nothing more than the same sauce they use in their quesidillas. I might be wrong, but all I know is that it goes wonderful on a taco. I might even start ordering it on everything I eat.

Final Words:
The Volcano Taco impressed on just about every frontier except for one. Heat. Don't get me wrong, this thing is totally delicious. But you'd think that something called a Volcano Taco with Volcano Sauce nestled in a fiery red shell would make you cry. It doesn't. In fact, I even like to put a packet of fire sauce on mine to crank up the heat just a little bit.

It really is wonderful.

Score:
8.5/10
Taste: 8.0 (Just wish it was a little hotter)
Aroma: 8.0 (The smell alone makes you twice as hungry as you were before you ordered it)
Value:9.5 (At only 89 cents you can't beat it. Why pay more?)

Review: Camel Crush

Ahh, the Camel Crush. Possibly the industries freshest gimmic.... erm, innovation! Well... yeah, it's basically just a gimmick. While it is, however, a neat gimmick, is it a good cigarette? Let's find out.

Overview:
The Camel Crush is Camels newest product which encapsulates two distinct flavors into one cigarette. The first of the two is "Regular" and the latter is "Fresh". The cigarette starts out as an everyday unflavored cigarette but instantly transforms into a cool menthol when the consumer squeezes the menthol capsule hidden away inside the filter, which can be done any time before or while smoking, or not at all.

Review:
Pretty neat, huh? Well you know the old saying "Don't knock it 'til ya try it"? Well, the exact opposite applies here. While the main concept driving this product is extremely revolutionary and has the ability to be the next big thing in the industry the final product ends up lacking, as well as excelling, in the most important department.

Taste. This is a completely mixed bag. First off, the flavor of the "Regular" portion of the cigarette is completely bland. I'm not sure if this is a light cigarette or what, but that's definitely what it tastes like. I've been smoking Camel Filters for about 6 months now so I could just be used to being spoiled by robust and full tasting tobacco, but I notice the lack of flavor in the "Regular" portion of the cigarette here and I'm sure any seasoned smoker will too. This all changes, however, once the menthol is ignited. The latter portion of the light seems to be the obvious choice here, as the menthol is cool and refreshing. It is also, in my personal opinion, one of the best menthol cigarettes on the market at this time.

Final Words:
The verdict on this one varies from person to person. I highly recommend this product to casual smokers who "only smoke when they drink" or "have a cigarette on the occasion", but cannot, no matter how much I love Camel, recommend this be anyone's standard cigarette. The neat gimmick of "Crushing" the filter is enough to keep casual smokers and party smokers amused for pack after pack, but when it comes right down to it this is a mediocre cigarette at best.

If the "Regular" blend was the only flavor this product had to offer it would easily be trash that I wouldn't smoke under any circumstances. Thankfully, though, the rich, fresh taste contained in that giant menthol ball in the filter save this cigarette from being compared to Basics.

Still, I cannot recommend anyone start smoking just for the sake of enjoying this gimmick, but I have to recommend anyone who already smokes try them at least once. The popping of the ball is, in all honesty, rather neat and I can definitely see this being the next big thing in cigarettes. All they need to do is get a better, more full tasting blend of tobacco and it's go time.

Score:
6/10
Taste: 4(regular)/8(fresh)
Odor: 6(mild, yet noticeable)
Value: 7(average cost of smokes)

img via: http://www.bethecatalyst.org/users/NicBuron