Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Review: A&W Float

Root Beer? Ice Cream? Delicious, right? I agree. In fact, I love root beer floats so much that I would have never thought I would find one I didn't enjoy. Well, that was 12 minutes ago and this is now.

The A&W Float is a product that attempts to capture the magic of one of humanity's most ingenious inventions, the Root Beer Float and fits it in a nifty looking glass bottle with an amusing vintage design. Upon further examination of the bottle you would find that this concoction of soda and cream contains very low amounts of sodium. That's good!

And if you continue to read the bottle you will see statements like: Rich, Creamy, and so Delicious you won't believe that it comes in a bottle. The latter part of that statement is completely and 100% true! You would never expect this to come in a bottle. You would, however, expect it to come in a tank of some sort. Most likely a septic tank.

This stuff is disgusting. Thoroughly atrocious. But it's also expensive, so you probably don't want to waste it. If that's the case then there is only one thing you need to enjoy this. Imagination! That's right, just imagine that this is a big bottle full of cat musk, baby vomit, decomposing fish eyes and human feces. Trust me, it will seem so much better. You'll still regurgitate and bleed out of your eyes, though.

Final Words:
Don't buy this. Don't even look at it. And for the sake of Joseph, step-father of Jesus, don't put it in your body. Unless you are trying to commit suicide in the most horrible way.

Taste: 2/10 (Disgusting. Drink from a paraplegic's diaper instead)
Aroma: 6/10 (Would've been higher, but this scent is a liar. And I hate liars)
Value: 1/10 (I won't spend money on this ever again. Unless I become a hitman and can't afford bullets. This is a way cheaper way to kill someone than using bullets)
Sodium: Very low/10

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i had the orange cream soda of the same type and it was DISGUSTING. the bottles make them look appealing but its false advertising at its best. sick..